I’m no psychologist or relationship counselor but if I’ve learned one thing from my parents, step parents, girlfriends, etc. over the years it’s this. If you want to stay sane in a relationship ….. leave the car at home. When I was a teenager my Father and Step Mother would take trips to places like Lake George and Action Park. These trips were a good three to five hours from us. It was always fun having a back seat view of the chaos that would unfold during these trips. Me and my Step Brother Mike in the back tuned into completely different music on our walkmans . My Dad Jim at the wheel and my Step Mom Barbara at his side. As our trip would progress (or regress depending on how you looked at it.) into total insanity. Now my Step Mom was wound a bit tight or to put it lightly “fucking nuts”. “Do you know where your going?”, “Jim, you;re going to fast.”. “Jim, this is the wrong way.”, “Jim, your lost.” All the while my Father was going exactly where he was supposed to. Dads voice would remain soft and steady throughout. Assuring her that all was well. Incredible considering how insanely paranoid and unsettling she was. However my Fathers short fuse was always put the test and without fail there would come a point where he would pull the car over or even come to a screeching halt and in his stern, intimidating voice say “Barbara, do you want to driver?” to which she would wimper “no” which would be followed by a thundering ovation of “Then shut the fuck up!!!!” It was a classic line we heard over and over. Mike and I would be huddled in the back seat holding our bellies to keep us from exploding in laughter. It was like a cross between the classic TV show “The Honeymooners” and the movie “Goodfellas”.
Years later this tradition has been passed on to me. This weekend was just another example. Whenever we take the car out , whether it be to the grocery store, down the shore or a long drive down the East Coast it’s the same thing. “You’re making me nervous.”, “You’re driving too fast.”, “Oh my God, look out for that STOP sign.” Even obvious things like driving to the same places we’ve been to countless times. “Go right”, “Right there”, “You’re going to miss it.” It’s one of the most unnerving things about our relationship. Most of the time I tune it out but lately it’s just been ridiculous. On this particular trip to Asbury Park she awakened the demon. I was hungry, surly and a little peeved about our late start. We were waiting in traffic to get to the toll when she started freaking out about getting the change ready. All the while there are twenty cars in front of us. All of which are at a complete stop. I just lost it and I said those magical words. The silence was deafening but the rest of the trip was pure bliss. She definitely got the message and all was forgiven by the time we stopped for biscuits and gravy. We enjoyed a beautiful day at the beach and made it home safe despite my driving. So take my advice. Leave the car at home. If you do however decide to put the keys in the engine just shut up and let them drive. Close your eyes and take a nap if you have to.
Last nights session had me pretty bummed out and completely exhausted. Weeks prior to the shoot I had been emailing back and fourth with Stephanie.A woman I had photographed a year or so ago. At the time I had been a bit clumsy if I remember. I had different gear and a background that didn’t give me the room I needed to get really creative. All that aside we had set up a session. She also brought a friend who I would also be photographing. The day of the shoot I got a call from Steph that they would be about twenty minutes late. Twenty minutes turned into about an hour and we lost most of the daylight I had planned on shooting before we headed back to the studio. On top of that they couldn’t find a parking spot. So with time ticking and the any remnants of light fading I jumped in their car and headed for the Monroe Center. I start a lot of my sessions at the Monroe Center because of the interiors unique vibe and interesting lighting within. I usually get to shoot there around dusk when the light is nice and soft. This was not the case. it was already dark out and I had to use flash which by the way I hate. Steph is a beautiful woman make no mistake but for whatever reason we weren’t hitting it last night. It doesn’t happen often but sometimes the communication just isn’t there. We took a short break where she went to change and I grabbed her friend Camila. I had seen some pictures of Camila prior to the shoot and was a tad concerned about possible skin issues.Fortunately this was not the case last night.We almost immediately clicked and got some great missed due to lateness and parking issues could have been extremely beneficial to our session.
towards our final destination Astoria Pool. It was always a long trip. We never had any money (Maybe just enough for a soda and a slice on the way home.) so we couldn’t afford to train it. Walking and perhaps stealing a ride on the back of the bus was our only option. I remember we’d often opt for hopping the pools fence rather than pay the thirty five cent admission fee. For a kid between the age of seven to ten it was an adventure.our final destination Astoria Pool. It was always a long trip. We never had any money (Maybe just enough for a soda and a slice on the way home.) so we couldn’t afford to train it. Walking and perhaps stealing a ride on the back of the bus was our only option. I remember we’d often opt for hopping the pools fence rather than pay the thirty five cent admission fee. For a kid between the age of seven to ten it was an adventure.
Photogeek Blog 