Tag: Humor

Butterflies

Anxious, Opening Night, Uncategorized

In just a couple of hours I’ll be headed to Montclair’s Gallery U for the opening of ‘Permanent Images’. This is my first time exhibiting there and my first time displaying at a gallery in over a year. The three images showing at the gallery are a few years old which, for some strange reason, takes away a little of the excitement away from my inclusion. I’ve always been one of those people who’s appreciation for his own work has a sort of expiration date. Shooting work and preparing it for exhibition has always been the exciting part for me. Seeing it on the wall and standing under it with a “Hey baby, wanna see my junk?” look on my face has never given me the satisfaction that capturing the image and hunting down a wall to show it does.The truth is I’m a bit of an oddball. I often feel weird at these things and can’t wait for a friend to stop by to snap me out of my geek spell and say    “I hate this kinda stuff.” “Wanna get a beer? Which I’m usually more than happy to do.

By now my nerves are starting to get a little scrambled. I’ve had way too much coffee and even broken into the cola reserve. I’ve peed a half dozen times and the butterflies are turning into tarantulas. This is the uncomfortable part. Knowing that getting there is the hardest part and once I’ve seen a familiar face those butterflies will disappear is comforting; But for me it couldn’t come fast enough.

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Someday, We’ll Look Back On This and Laugh.

Music, Uncategorized

A few weeks back,  I had the opportunity to sit and interview Norwegian singer, songwriter Dyveke as she was finishing up her album at Water Sound recording studios here in Hoboken.  Though I had just met her our exchange was very easy and open ended. I learned a lot about her during that hour or so conversation. I learned about her upbringing in Norway. Her music education in Liverpool England and her recording with some very talented and well known artists. I also learned one very important thing. “Sarcasm is not a part of  Norwegian culture.” Knowledge that could have served me well if i had remembered days later when we prepared to start our photo session.

As we drove from nearby Jersey City to my place in Hoboken I shared a recent experience I had with a very difficult customer. In telling the story I mentioned that I got to a point where I thought to myself “I could just take that nearby pillow and snuff the life out of her.” Though it was meant purely as a joke and to show just how bad the interaction had spiraled out of control. My new friend and model for the day did not take it as such. As we got out of the car, she revealed that my story had really gotten to her and she no longer felt comfortable going to the studio alone with me. I immediately recalled her explaining to me that sarcasm is something foreign to Norway. At that moment, I felt like a complete and total ass. A cad, a fool and a villain all rolled up into one horses ass. As we walked     I tried to ease her fears and tensions with no results. The backgrounds, lights and refreshments were all ready for action but production had been shut down. I made the best of my foolishness and followed her suggestion to just go with some location shots. As we walked along the Hoboken side of the Hudson, her tensions seemed to ease. I did my best to convince her I wasn’t one to murder old ladies, feed arsnic to children or kidnap Norwegian singer/songwriters. I really felt terrible about my stupidity. As a photographer, the most important thing I can do is make my subject feel comfortable and trust my instincts. Without that,       I am a lost soul. That’s when she assured me that everything was okay. That someday, “We’ll both look back on this and laugh.” I certainly hope so. I realize we all make mistakes. We all fail from time to time. So, instead of banging my head against the wall and continually punishing myself for my own stupidity. I hope to learn from my mistakes, learn and move on. Overall, my experience with her was very positive. I learned a lot about a very talented musician. One that came all the way from Norway to record in my mile square town. I met a stranger and learned from her. I even got a story to tell for my little blog.

Cool Shirt Bro.

Beauty, Finding Solutions, Finding your Zen, Humor, Organizing, Philosophy, Portraiture

Being that I do a lot of writing and photographing of local music I’ve managed to pick up my share of rock tees along the way. Some are bought, some are given as thanks, some just thrown at me to cover my naked body at shows. Whatever the reason, I’ve got a lot of them. As cool as these things might look on the bands merch table or when worn by Joe Hardcore. They do not exactly look flattering on my body. So instead of letting them go to waste in my drawer or in a box on a shelf somewhere. I’ll throw one on a beautiful girl. In doing this I get a fond memory of the shirt and I don’t end up on an episode of “Hoarders”.   The shirts always look a hell of a lot better on them and it’s a great way to preserve the memory of the shirt. So if you’re attached to all those old rock tees, Christmas trees, and unfitting wanna bees. Throw it on a beautiful woman and keep those memories fresh.

“How Do You Measure Success?”

Documentary, Measuring Success

Earlier this evening I was interviewed for a project a friend of mine is working on. As her small crew (two people) went about setting up and making me feel beautiful I had a pretty good idea of the line of questioning I was in for. The interview went pretty much as planned. Being that I was being interviewed by someone who looked as nervous as I felt relaxed me a bit and made me feel a lot less self conscious. Then came the question that just took the train right off the tracks, “How Do You Measure Success?”.  I sat there, reaching deep, like the scene in “A Bronx Tale” where Calogero is in the back seat of a stolen car with his friends and a case full of Molotov cocktails, “Someone was pulling the chain and I was going down the toilet.” Okay, so it wasn’t that bad but it was a question I felt needed the right answer. I stumbled and staggered for a moment before pulling myself from the abyss before referencing Henry Rollins and Ian McKaye as two individuals who became great successes both creatively and monetarily on their own terms.

In retrospect it was the easy answer. As I look back on my life I’ve had my share of successes and failures. I’ve cheated death a few times and fought back from what I was told to believe were insurmountable. Growing up I was taught to believe that success was gained by money and fame. It was a road I never really traveled. Regardless, I feel that I’ve experienced plenty of success in my life.  Part of that success comes from the fact that I love what I do. I love the people in my life. Both inspire, energize and influence the feeling that I did something right with my life and I treated people as I wanted to be treated. I’m living life on my own terms. Booyah!!!

The Cookies Stay in the Jar.

Beauty, Erotic Photography, Humor, Nudes

I had already photographed Jay on several occasions and had developed a very good working relationship with her. I was really just starting out on my own at the time and only had only shot a handful  myself. Gingerly, I asked her if she would have any interest in working with me on this new venture. With a confidence I had rarely seen before she reared back and like a general about to lead the troops in to battle she crowed,  “The cookies stay in the jar”. It was an answer that not only made me laugh uncontrollably but eased the anxiousness I would have otherwise felt do to both the nature of the question and the rejection that followed. Even now, a few years later, I have to laugh whenever that innocent exchange comes to mind.

I’ve photographed a lot of cookies since then. Some small, some large, all beautiful in their own size, shape and form. I’ve grown more comfortable lighting and photographing the nude. I don’t think I ever saw it as something dirty.  A woman’s body is the most beautiful thing there is. However, the perception and how it’s looked at by outsiders could use a little more maturity. All you dirty son’s a bitches on Flickr should take note.

I Really Hate The Doors But…

Drunken Buffoon, Lower East Side

A couple of years back I wrote this article “Why We Hate You” A record store clerk speaks out. Having been on both sides of the counter I thought it would make for an interesting piece. What turns most record store clerks into snobs or in some cases, complete assholes. (Being that “I too” may have been considered a snob or complete asshole at one time or another excludes me from being insulting here.)  All in all it was pretty tongue in cheek but my interviewee brought up some interesting points.

One thing I found particularly funny was his opinion that Doors fans were basically a bunch of knobs. It was something that really made me think. As a kid (I’m talking 5th or 6th grade here) I loved The Doors. It was part of the Classic Rock catalog. How could I shit on The Doors. However, as I got older (8th grade older) and left the limited focus and small minded restraints of FM radio and the “Classic Rock formula. Thus bringing me to the conclusion that I “hate the fucking Doors”. Fast forward a couple of decades and a few extra pounds and I come across this incredibly creative stairway to heaven…… um, I mean staircase to second floor of Lower East Side tenement building. I had to stop and take a picture. It made me think that something good actually came out of that drunken buffoon Jim Morrison.