I’ve been having a real hard time finding the right words to describe my recent shoot with Roksolana. Sometimes it just takes time to properly let an experience run it’s course of emotions in order to write about it from an observers point of view than an actual participant. This became evident to me when talking to a model I worked with the other day. I’ve worked with this particular woman for years and over that time, developed a close bond and trust. We’ve always shared stories and not only is she supportive of my wiring. She’s downright forceful in that she feels my stories are worth putting to paper. This Friday afternoon, as she unpacked her chosen outfits for that days session, the conversation quickly turned to just that. It was then that I realized why I do and do not write about certain subjects and certain experiences in my life. It was then when I understood why I was having such a hard time writing about this particular shoot with this beautiful and very sweet woman. It all came down to separation and the time it takes to remove yourself and a certain emotional element from the story. At the time of the shoot I was overwhelmed by Roksolana’s energy, her thwarting of everything I had planned and inability to focus on anything for more than a few seconds. That could all be easily overlooked if not for the pure fact that she turned my organized and uncluttered studio space and turned into a combat zone. Even going as far as moving my couch and taking the shirts I had picked out for her to model and spreading them across my couch insisting “See, it feels like a college dorm.”
Yet, with all the madness, lack of direction and complete exhaustion those few hours created. I still had a beautiful woman in my studio. One who is inspiring in all that she’s already experienced in her short life. I was doing one of the things I love most in life and I was in the midst of a ‘real story’. I controlled my anger and emotions throughout and stayed focused. An hour or so later, my heart rate was normal and I was sharing dinner with my lovely wife. I was not only alive, I was living.
3 thoughts on “Time to Reflect”
I did *not* realize that was your photo in my feed until I scrolled down a bit and saw your watermark. I thought I should share my first reaction with you, which was an audible “Oh, wooo, wow” followed by “OH NEAT!” when I realized it was your photo 🙂 I like that your work makes me say things out loud when I’m alone especially when I initially don’t realize it’s yours. This tells me that what you offer…that’s good stuff, Dear James.
I’d like to thank you once again for making me a part of your blog. Sometimes, you just have to let the model be in control and let them work their imaginations and crazy ideas while you capture every one… that way u catch all different types of poses and their individual personality and look… u got great results! Crazy is better than normal sometimes lol
Steph, you are absolutely right. I try to learn and grow with each experience. This one taught me a lot. I learned you can never and should never attempt to control a free spirit. It also reenforced my belief that, as the photographer, I have to set some boundaries. It is also important to be open to all ideas while being ready to explain why certain ones, though creative, will not work the way they were envisioned. Thanks for commenting.