Sebastianne came into my life at the age of three. At the time I had become close friends with her mom KC. Through the years KC and I remained good friends and I watched Sebastianne grow and mature. Even as a baby I was impressed and even amazed at what a smart and well behaved kid she was. She always seemed mature beyond her age. She was very special to me and along with her mom was there for some of the most important times in my life. As the years went by both KC and I moved out of Manhattan and saw less of one another. There were holidays and the occasional get together. They remained very special and loved throughout. A few years back I was having a special dinner with some friends on the lower east side and invited KC to join us. We were already in mid celebration when KC arrived with a friend. As I stood up to give her a hug I asked “Who’s your friend?” It turned out to be Sebastianne. In a short time she had morphed from a cute child to a woman. She was the same sweet, beautiful kid. I couldn’t get over how much she had sprouted. Fast forward to last week. I was in the middle of a session when the phone rang. I didn’t pick it up due to the fact I was in midst of photographing a beautiful woman. Later that night I checked my phone and didn’t notice the 914 area code. Once I checked the message I was still a little unsure. The message was very basic just mentioning her name and to call her back when I got the chance. When I did call back I realized right away who it was. My sweetheart Sebastianne. We talked and made plans to get together before she was set to start high school today. So yesterday I went up to Harlem and picked her up from the train. We went out for lunch at Gobo in the village and had a chance to catch up. She filled me in on her Summer and what she’s been up to. There are a handful of people in my life that occupy space in my heart. People you would do anything for at the drop of a hat without any questions asked. She is without a doubt one them. After lunch we headed back to Hoboken and did a laid back , impromptu photo session. Sebastianne is a really smart gifted kid. She loves to read, learn, writes, including her own songs. She’s beautiful but not the least bit self involved. A lot of kids her age hit that rough patch where they think everything is lame and stupid but she’s so balanced I don’t have the least bit of worry about it. Later that night we watched the movies I let her pick out at Blockbuster (Pink Panther I and II) and laughed ’til it hurt. This morning I drove her home and to her first day of High School. Sebastianne, I’d wish you luck but I know you’re going to synch it. Love you always.
Tag: Family
Lessons I’ve learned along the way.
I’m no psychologist or relationship counselor but if I’ve learned one thing from my parents, step parents, girlfriends, etc. over the years it’s this. If you want to stay sane in a relationship ….. leave the car at home. When I was a teenager my Father and Step Mother would take trips to places like Lake George and Action Park. These trips were a good three to five hours from us. It was always fun having a back seat view of the chaos that would unfold during these trips. Me and my Step Brother Mike in the back tuned into completely different music on our walkmans . My Dad Jim at the wheel and my Step Mom Barbara at his side. As our trip would progress (or regress depending on how you looked at it.) into total insanity. Now my Step Mom was wound a bit tight or to put it lightly “fucking nuts”. “Do you know where your going?”, “Jim, you;re going to fast.”. “Jim, this is the wrong way.”, “Jim, your lost.” All the while my Father was going exactly where he was supposed to. Dads voice would remain soft and steady throughout. Assuring her that all was well. Incredible considering how insanely paranoid and unsettling she was. However my Fathers short fuse was always put the test and without fail there would come a point where he would pull the car over or even come to a screeching halt and in his stern, intimidating voice say “Barbara, do you want to driver?” to which she would wimper “no” which would be followed by a thundering ovation of “Then shut the fuck up!!!!” It was a classic line we heard over and over. Mike and I would be huddled in the back seat holding our bellies to keep us from exploding in laughter. It was like a cross between the classic TV show “The Honeymooners” and the movie “Goodfellas”.
Years later this tradition has been passed on to me. This weekend was just another example. Whenever we take the car out , whether it be to the grocery store, down the shore or a long drive down the East Coast it’s the same thing. “You’re making me nervous.”, “You’re driving too fast.”, “Oh my God, look out for that STOP sign.” Even obvious things like driving to the same places we’ve been to countless times. “Go right”, “Right there”, “You’re going to miss it.” It’s one of the most unnerving things about our relationship. Most of the time I tune it out but lately it’s just been ridiculous. On this particular trip to Asbury Park she awakened the demon. I was hungry, surly and a little peeved about our late start. We were waiting in traffic to get to the toll when she started freaking out about getting the change ready. All the while there are twenty cars in front of us. All of which are at a complete stop. I just lost it and I said those magical words. The silence was deafening but the rest of the trip was pure bliss. She definitely got the message and all was forgiven by the time we stopped for biscuits and gravy. We enjoyed a beautiful day at the beach and made it home safe despite my driving. So take my advice. Leave the car at home. If you do however decide to put the keys in the engine just shut up and let them drive. Close your eyes and take a nap if you have to.
My little Brothers not so little anymore.
Congratulations to my Brother Matthew for not only surviving eight years of Catholic School but actually graduating. I don’t get to spend nearly as much time with him as I would like but I love him and I’m proud of him. Having siblings that aren’t clos
e to your age makes it harder to create strong bonds. The geographic distance doesn’t help much either. On the occasions I do get to see him he never fails to tell me how much he misses me. He’s a good kid who loves hip hop and Baseball. He’s a lot shyer and quiet than I ever was and he stays out of trouble. Just in case your curious he’s the one on the far right. “Hey Matt, show some enthusiasm. You just *&%^$ graduated.” Congrats, I love you kid.
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